LIFE has not been easy for me... i know iam too young to say this. just 20yrs old.. but it seems as if i have seen the whole world... in this tender age... iam happy to be born in a family wch cud provide me not nly with d basic needs of life but also d luxurious things ....the riches of life.. but still i feel it wud have been betr if i had been born in a poor family... cos a person needs happiness and if a family cannot provide it.... than its not a family indeed..
i have always seen my parents fighting, arguing,. beating up ech oder like animals.... it has always made me feel sad ... i have spent my 16 yrs seeing violence and pain at my home.. wch has nt been easy to deal with... and den it happened one day... dat my parents decided to get divorced... i was 18 den... and til date the case is being fought among the two... mum's busy in her own personal life.so is dad.... have a swthrt bro who has always been rude... though he loves me.... gives me money... gifts... clothes.. wat not.. but still nt d love i always wanted... no one has time for me...
but wat i ask for is not more to give.. i nly want the love.. wch my parents cud nt provide me.. i dnt even remember d last time my mum hugged me with all her heart.,.. dad blames me for his divorce ..i dnt even knw y.. he told me once i am d poison in dis house.... god knws y...
my grandma(my naniji) once told me.. my dad wanted a boy wen i was born.... and was nt happi to c me... and its nt pretty hard to believe since... my dad has always kept me as a boy.. he never allowed me to do ny makeup.. or pierce my ears.....he is an orthodox..and still believes dat a gurl shud stay at home... not to listn to songs...and stay disciplined and not have guy frnds... but thanks to mum... cos of her atleast i hve some freedom.... but stil whos suffrng at last??
its me ...me and nly me.... iam treated like a football b/w my parents. bhai has settled in jaipur...njoyng his job...and wat about me?? iam left here to c all d pain in dis house... smtimes i feel like running away from my house.... dng smthng stupid.... but den... i love my life... i think god is just testng me.. and will b good one day... i think one day everythng will get rite. .. dats d reason iam still alive i gues.... ..... its k dat my parents dnt care for me nymore... but wats worse is dat de dnt let me do wateva i please... i stay with mum.. ..(so dad cnt b included in this). mum dsnt let me listen to music.... (its k wen im treadmilling!!)... she dsnt let me hangout with frnds... if i have ny guy frns...she will think he is my bf.... dats d reason i dnt tok to my guy frnds in front of her.. she thinks ech n evry guy in dis world is y bf.... she has to knw evrythng i tok about with my frnds... ... she is a headache......
wat cn isay.... i hate dis life iam living.. but stil i have to live it..... and i wish dat i get a job as soon as posssible so dat i cn b independent and live dis home!!!.......
now comes my frnds....
i never had ny best frnd ...nevea eva.. and i dnt want ny now.... as god is my best frnd now!!!
all frnds went thr own way after skul... no one cares to even col or msg... nyway they were good for nothing!!.... colg frnds r losrs... iam in a gurls colg.. and ppl cn imagine hw mean gurls r.... i was with a popular group in d starting... but i left dem..since they smoked ...and stuff... and den i met dis group.. who were nt dat studious but were really good... but srsly de r losers... i mean ppl hangout with ech oder...bunk classes.... and go outing... but they dnt like bunking.. and if we have a free clas... they run back home.... if by mistake we go out for lunch n stuff they say ... we dnt hav money.. or we r broke..or de simply try to behave as if they dnt have ny money......
yikessssssssssss i mean...ppl... wats wrong with u?! ...
now cmes my bf.... who dsnt really knw hw dis love thing works... but stil i love him... we fite a lot. mayb its me... mayb its my ways .. dat i want him to adopt.. but cmmon im nt dat mean either..... wat i want is dat love wch i never recieved from my parents. but i dnt tink ny person cn give me dat love. i wanna stay happi..i want a person who cn make me happy wen i am sad... who is ready to help me in my probs... a man.. who cn understnd me.. who cn trustme... who cn love me and nly me with all his heart.. who cn understnd my silence... who cn take my problems on his shoulders and cn simply promise me to stay by my side forevr.... is dat smthng more im askng for?? i mean in a rship..dis is a normal stuf.
nyway...
